January 27 Blog
A dear friend of mine sent this my way.
THEY BURIED BRUCE COMPTON TODAY
They buried Bruce Compton today
They say
he drank himself to death
or maybe it was drugs.
Both dominated his life.
He lost his wife
then his second wife
then his practice
and finally even his lights.
PG&E shut him off.
By then
We, his friends,
were gone too.
I don't know if we
shut him off
or simply gave up
a race
we couldn't win.
I do know that
no matter how much we gave
he drank
and used
and continued going downhill.
I was tempted to say sliding downhill
but it wasn't
a slide
It was a headlong gallop.
There was no resistance
no grasping
no asking
for help.
Bruce didn't need help
because you see
he
didn't have a problem.
The problems were
his wives didn't understand or appreciate him
His partners let him down
even PG&E was unreasonable in insisting on payment.
We all thought he would hit bottom someday
and wake up
from his nightmare
and ours.
And then our guilt
for not doing more
(even though more was never enough)
would be over too.
Well he did hit bottom
but he didn't wake up.
So there will be no happy ending
no redemption
no more time for a sinking ship
to be righted.
What might have been
isn't to be.
A friend
bright witty
good looking
and tremendously talented
drank himself to death.
Maybe he will find
the peace
in death
he never found
in life.
And maybe we will find
in life
the peace
that comes
with accepting
what we can change
and what we can't.
--J.S.--
It is painful to read these words and realize what my friend, and his friend, went through. It is even more painful to realize that one-third of all alcoholics die of suicide. Another third die of their disease.
When you think about it, there really isn't much difference between the two.
jh
